Letters to the Editor

Once again, in Eugene Mirman fashion, I choose to write "Letters to the Editor," in which I write letters to random things that bug me, and make me happy. It saves time, and it's slightly funny.

Dear Amoxicillin,
Knock it off! You are so not helping! Leave the stomach alone and take care of the head!
Love,
Anna Grace

Dear Hogi Yogi,
I love you. A lot. But your fella didn't put enough Mayonnaise on my sandwich today... It made me sad.
Love,
Anna Grace

Dear Angelas,
HOORAY! I'm so excited! I love babies! I'm going to make them all blankies (in my ever-present free time).
Love,
Anna Grace

Dear Rollercoaster Ride,
I don't know if I can ride you. You really scare me. Like... really. That's why I jumped off last time.
Love,
Anna Grace

Dear School,
If you hold someone's head underwater long enough... that person might just drown. I thought I might let you know.
Love,
Anna Grace

Dear Stomach,
Last warning! I'll have you amputated!
Love,
Anna Grace

Dear Music,
I love you... Don't ever stop, okay?
Love,
Anna Grace

Dear Articles,
HAH! Beat you for once... Until next week...
Love,
Anna Grace

Dear Research Paper,
Oh crap. I forgot all about you... Let's spend some quality time together this weekend, okay?
Love,
Anna Grace

Dear People,
Where did you all come from... and why are there so many of you? You slightly un-nerve me, you know...
Love,
Anna Grace